Suicide touches Elyria Schools

     Recently, a tragedy occurred when a school board member in Elyria ended his life by his own hands.  Richard Kaplan, a family man, and successful business person died of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound, leaving behind a wife and three children. Sadly, he became part of an ever increasing group of people who end their lives with this method. People will wonder why, and though he and I never met, we did share a common bond which may be the true culprit, mental illness. I also must  include because he was honest about his struggle with depression, people should remember Mr. Kaplan as a generous man.

     In a conversation with Elyria School Board President Evelyn France, she describes Mr. Kaplan as an active member of the community, who did a vast deal of work for the schools long before he was elected as a  member of the board. She added that he was also an enterprising member of the business community and the local Rotary Club.

     Mrs. France also went on to say  "the Elyria School system is like a family, and they are mourning the loss of a family member."  She described Rich as a humble, straightforward, and honest person, who never looked for any praise. He was exceedingly giving to his community, and it was obvious she had the utmost respect for him.

    Because of the common affliction, I wish I would have met Mr. Kaplan. Currently, his family is grieving their loss, and my heart and prayers go out to them. Many people will ask an elementary question, specifically, why did he do this?  I cannot represent exactly what was the causation of this tragedy, but I can give the public a first person narrative as to what he faced because I also tried on several occasions to end my life.

     In over five hundred talks that I have given on this subject, I keep hearing the same questions. One that is the most common is, what caused me to decide to end my life? Just like the question, my answer is clear, but at the same time, very complex. I include in my response the one word that only people who suffer from one of these disorders can comprehend, "Pain!"

     The emotional pain that is the result of mental illness is the most grievous feeling that anyone can imagine. If a person has never felt it, he or she cannot understand the damage that is inflicted in someone's life from this invisible torment. When the symptoms are active, they define every aspect of the victims lives, and at times, it is as if the person is in a constant conflict with their disorder. Like many others, Mr. Kaplan had to wake up, accept that he has this disease, and fight either the demons or the ever present threat of their return.

     Like Mr. Kaplan, I served public office, three terms Brunswick City Council, I was on the board of the Local United Way, Jaycees and Kidney foundation, among other activities. During my life, I spent years hiding the malady out of fear that it would be discovered and others would think less of me. Also, I was in denial of my condition, and its life threatening capabilities. In time, it destroys a person's self-worth as it did mine. Because of its relentless nature, it pursues its prey until treated, or destroys its target either figuratively, or literally.

     In May of 2001, on the campus of Lorain County Community College in, ironically, Elyria, security personnel stumbled on me as I was found unresponsive from a suicide attempt. Though the actual act occurred on that day,  it was the beginning of the end of a long battle against the unyielding pain brought on by bipolar disorder. It was the culmination of ferocious psychological battering that ultimately consumed me. What no one knew is that, for many years, I struggled  with suicidal ideation. Additionally, I was in a constant battle with my sub-conscious, which was being monopolized with fatalistic thoughts. Plus, it reminded me that death was the only way to end my constant pain. With my self-worth at zero, I could never see beyond my symptoms and seek the appropriate treatment.

     On the day I took enough pills to kill me, and ran out of the house, it was almost a relief to know that my pain was now going to leave. I had no clue that the cause of my suffering was a treatable disease and that I could be free of the morbid thoughts with proper treatment. Also, I could not envision that once I defeated the illness, there could be a happy life ahead of me. If it had not been for two heroic police officers on the campus of LCCC, I would have never lived to see the life I love today.

     Whenever there is a tragedy such as this one, I hear some, not so witty comments from weak minded individuals. One is that a person chooses to end their life!. The other, it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!

     First off, no one chooses to end their life! The public needs to understand that It is an illness  which is the basis for this current tragedy; he did not choose this course of action. No one truly wants to die, they just want the pain from their illness to end!  Also, we do not decide on a whim, to generate these disorders, anymore then someone who develops, cancer, diabetes, or heart disease. It is a deadly, misunderstood disease that enters a life uninvited! It is also one that comes with a dark stigma attached.    

     Secondly, the classic statement that it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, infuriates me. When I hear this, I want to shout out; the problems are not the causes, it is the disease that leads to someone's death. The  symptomology is what compels people to commit this act, not some ordinary disputes or concerns. This statement falls under the ignorance many display towards these afflictions

     Both of these visceral comments explain the lack of awareness and understanding of mental illness being the causation of suicide. It shows that, as a society, we have a long way to go in grasping the information needed to prevent tragedies such as this one. That is part of the reason why the number of situations like this are ever increasing.

     It is essential to point out one other issue, which is the stigma of being branded mentally ill. Many people like me and others stand in testimony to the idea that the stigma and its accompanying bigotry are significantly worse than the illness itself. After all, I speak from firsthand experience that it is not pleasant be known as being out of control and crazy, the way some people still describe me to this very day. This occurs in spite of my successes and the knowledge that I have been symptom free for eleven years. One characterization of mental illness is that many people spend an enormous amount of effort seeking external validation, but because of the  stigma, many times they fall short of that acceptance. It is only with a greater amount of knowledge and education that this dehumanizing practice can this be alleviated.

     Confucius once said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step!" I  hope the Elyria school system pays homage to Mr. Kaplan by taking that first step in creating a means to create awareness, compassion and empathy for those similarly afflicted. Reach out to students, and others who are suffering and in need of intervention. Use this to help cut down the curtain of degradation of mental illness, just like this school board member attempted to accomplish with his openness. This can be a way to influence others out of the shadows of ostracism and let them know they are part of a family that cares! This can also open doors for people to seek treatment, and not feel any shame  nor a need to apologize for having one of these disorders.

    Mr. Kaplan faced his illness with openness, dignity, and candor, and he leaves an indelible mark on his community. He did not lose a battle it was an illness ended his life. He did not take an easy way out as some think suicide is, he fought a courageous battle against a silent killer. People like him pave the way for understanding of mental illness and his actions in life will help protect future sufferers. His family should be immensely proud of the way he lived, and no one has a right to question or judge his final actions. There is no greater adulation then to be helpful to others, and that is the greatest way to honor the memory of this good man. Once again, everyone's thoughts and prayers  should be to his family and friends.

Mental illness, President Obama, and the politics of ignorance!

     As we close the door on the recent Presidential election, many commentators and political pundits will spend an inordinate amount of time analyzing how and why it ended the way it did. Many will point to “defining” moments and such, while ignoring other pertinent details. However, there was something that exemplified a double standard in the national media, half of which was exploited, while the most damaging aspect was ignored.

     Back in October, Conservative personality Ann Coulter raised the ire of mainstream media by calling The President a “retard”. The outcry was predictable, as she was deemed hateful, ignorant, and those were among the kindest descriptions. Though it was a poor choice of words, she never once used this term to demean a group of people in a discriminatory fashion. She, in fact, directed it at one single person. Additionally, I have heard harsher and more offensive words used on the national setting against Mitt Romney and Ann Coulter herself. However, that is a discussion for another time.

     What the public should find disturbing is the phony outrage that many members of the political left have when it comes to their selective condemnation, while ignoring their own hatred, and personal bias. A good example would be President Obama’s acceptance of exclusion of a particular segment of society, which was rooted with his comments largely ignored by the national media.  During one of the debates, the discussion predictably turned to gun control. President Obama said, “We have to…make sure that we’re keeping guns out of the hands of criminals, those who are mentally ill.” This degrading comment is one that ignores the knowledge that those with mental illness are not more violent than the rest of society, but are more likely to be victims of criminal acts. More importantly, this was not just calling someone a name; it dehumanized and diminished over fifty million people who suffer one of these disorders.

     My question to the people who demonized Ann Coulter is straightforward; why no outrage at these comments from the President? He, against all evidence to the contrary, categorized a diverse group of people with violent felons. According to him, a woman with post-partum depression is comparable to a violent individual who robbed, assaulted or even killed another.  Add to it the soldiers coming home as heroes fighting wars, who suffer PTSD and in many cases will be given a lifetime sentence of treatment for mental health issues. Are they also to be categorized with the violent criminals?

     If that is not enough evidence that these comments are a form of bigotry, how about adding to the mix, the challenges facing the local police. These first responders endure the daily threat of “Vicarious Trauma”, which is witnessing traumatic events on a daily basis over the course of time. With that, mental health issues come to light after many years of dealing with some of life’s most extraordinary tragedies. Since this can and does trigger some form of mental illness, are they now part of President Obama’s sub-culture that is categorized with violent criminals? Sadly, this issue is being met with the media’s self-imposed censorship.

     One person who did speak through the silence was a former Washington Post writer and mental health advocate, Pete Earley. This man, who authored the book, “Crazy, a Fathers Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness”, was one of the few critics of the Presidents repugnant comments. He brought up an intriguing correlation. Imagine the outcry from the left if we substituted the words mentally ill with, Blacks, Hispanics or Gays. Many of the same groups that condemned Ann Coulter would be up in arms against anyone who would demean these minority groups. However, the left identifies only selective bias!

     Instead of outrage from the side of “Inclusion” we discover deafening silence and sadly, this adds to the acceptance of intolerance of those with one of these conditions. No one from MSNBC, who is constantly railing against the so-called hatred of the conservative’s, ever said a word, except to anoint Obama as the savior of western civilization. Why did these people refuse to at least question this President’s need to humiliate people because of an illness? Here again, it appears that they practice nothing more than acceptable desecration.

     To enlighten people, let me introduce everyone to those that belong to this subculture of the mentally ill. They are your friends, your neighbors, loved ones, and yes, they are soldiers that are returning from war. Add to them teachers, police officers, firemen, writers, and yes, even Presidents of the United States! This “fraternities” membership is like everyone else; they wake up, work hard, and try and live a happy life. Since this President has shown disdain and ignorance, he should walk down any street and count four houses, because in one of them, there will be a family directly impacted by someone close who is battling a mental health affliction. People in this group have struggles that only members of this minority class and their loved ones can fully understand. When these individuals fall, it is their close circles of friends that are there to find help for them as they struggle to locate treatment.

     The left is always screaming diversity; well I have a lesson for them. The members of this fraternity are the most diverse congregation ever created. These diseases attack with relentless abandonment to every group. They are prevalent in Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Christians,Muslims, Jewish, Atheists, Conservatives and even Liberals! The diseases are non-discriminatory in nature, and they do not even differentiate the social economic standing of its targets.

    Not surprisingly, we do not hear a vast deal of the positive contributions to society by those with mental illness.  Many accomplish a great deal, but most good work usually goes unrecognized. However, when tragedy strikes, that opens the door for some exploitation that does nothing but undermine the opportunities people have for acceptance. 

     In Aurora, Colorado and Tucson, Arizona, mass killings took place by two individuals who suffer from severe mental illness. However, rather than examining the cause and finding a solution, the left once again, used it as an opportunity to utilize the “fictitious hate” of conservative groups. The Tea Party and Sarah Palin are always the two main targets for the left’s rant. Surprisingly, Ann Coulter was not blamed in these tragedies, but I am certain someone will now find a way to add some culpability on her part.

     What was ignored in those tragedies, specifically Tucson, is that our failing mental health system with archaic laws and ever diminishing readily available treatment are the main culprit. Not surprisingly, no one on the federal level has done anything significant to modernize these laws or open the door for better treatment. Yet, President Obama who was quick to condemn this segment of the population, has done nothing in correcting this form of discrimination. Based on his comments, it appears that he accepts this kind of bigotry, and is willing to sacrifice those vulnerable people for political gain, as members of the political left cheered his hateful comments.  

     To be fair, no one on the right side of the political spectrum spoke out against these deplorable comments. Conversely, not one of the liberal commentators defended people with mental illness, but they sure were ready to attack Ann Coulter for an ill advised name calling incident.   

     For many years now, advocates across the country have worked tirelessly to promote awareness that people with mental illness are not violent, or drains on society. This advocacy has and continues to be an uphill climb. With this acceptance by the national media of the Presidents discriminatory comments, that dream of inclusion will become just that much more challenging, and for some people, it may become impossible. In the meantime, people on the left should refrain from their phony outrage, because their silence on these comments, suggest that they are the true bigots. After all, while you were pointing your finger at Ann Coulter, how many were left pointing back at yourselves?

Injustice of Jessica Fernandez, how the system failed her!

    

      On May 22nd of this year, Nancy Fernandez received a text message from her daughter Jessica, saying that she would not have to worry about her anymore. Because she previously attempted to end her life, Nancy immediately called the Erie County Sheriff’s department. Shortly thereafter, she and her husband David heard sirens, and they were aware that there was a strong possibility that it was the result of that call. Though they feared the worst, nothing could prepare them for what ultimately occurred.     

      The bedroom has not changed in the ensuing months since that day last May. Medals, awards and pictures adorn the walls and as if it awaits a young woman who is about to return from summer camp or a trip abroad. Tragically, that is not the case, because the sirens her parents heard were indeed for their daughter. It was then that they were informed that their daughter Jessica, a 16 year old young lady, ended her struggle with bipolar disorder by standing in front of a moving train in Vermillion. Besides two loving parents, she left behind many other family members, and friends who still miss her terribly. She also left behind many unanswered questions.

     As visitors walk through the family home, so many pictures of Jessica as a happy, vibrant youth, so full of promise are visible. It is then that one must ask, what could have gone so terribly wrong to lead to such a tragic outcome. As her story unfolds, it is painfully obvious that the main culprit is a failure of the medical community to provide her with the proper care, and give her the opportunity to live a long, happy life. Hospitals, clinics, treatment facilities, who continuously fail to recognize the complexities of this silent killer, did not take the necessary steps to ensure her recovery.

     The story begins about a year and a half before this tragedy when she began to experience some depressive episodes. It was at this time that she received a misdiagnosis of depression and anxiety. Since bipolar disorder is routinely misdiagnosed, this began an odyssey for her through the mental health “maze” that has left her parents “pissed off at the system!” In reality, they echo the feelings of many parents, and loved ones, who have battled to negotiate a fragmented and woefully underfunded system. It is one that routinely fails those afflicted with these invisible killers.

     As people reflect back to the last 12 months of her life, it is shocking to discover that Jessica was hospitalized 10 times. Additionally, the number would have been higher had some hospitals been able to find a treatment facility for her, because on at least three other occasions, she was taken to the emergency room and immediately discharged. Laurelwood, Elyria Memorial, and Fairview hospitals all became complicit in her failed attempts at being provided the necessary treatment. The State of Ohio, which has drastically reduced the number of beds available to those in need, should be included for their adversarial sanctions towards people like Jessica.

     What David and Nancy Fernandez discovered is something that few people outside the mental health system understand. They, like others, are stunned to discover the medical profession’s lack of benevolence when confronted with these disorders. Shockingly, hospitals are not required to treat people with mental illness, only to make them stable enough for discharge. That is if the patient is even admitted! To better illustrate the absurdity of that process, imagine the outcry if someone with considerable chest pains arrives at an ER. At that time, rather than treat the individual, the hospital hands the patient some pills, then instructs them to seek treatment elsewhere because a bed is not available for them.

     This nomadic trek from hospital to hospital is a typical pattern that plays out daily for those afflicted. It is one that breaks down hope, and leaves the patients crying out for someone to help them. It is one that leaves parents like David and Nancy searching for answers as to how this could have occurred.

     One glaring problem in her treatment was that it does not appear that the medical profession followed the proper protocol in prescribing her medications. It is common knowledge in the mental health community that it can take at least six weeks for psychotropic drugs to begin to fully stabilize the patient. That process was never followed for Jessica, as doctors changed her medication ten times over the course of her treatment. None of them had the opportunity to fully work, nor was that time frame protocol ever explained to her or her parents.

     One has to wonder what is in the mind of the people responsible for treating this young lady. While hospitalized, she once drew a picture of herself in her journal, holding a gun to her head and pulling the trigger. Surprisingly, the medical personal at that facility found nothing wrong with that expression and shortly thereafter, discharged her from care. Young people commonly use art to express their emotions, and this was at the very least, a troubling indicator. Obviously, she had morbid thoughts while in the care of professionals, but no one acted on that clear warning sign. It is disconcerting that they not consider this self-portrait disturbing in any way.

     It must be added that on one occasion, Lauelwood would not admit her because of a positive drug test. Once again, many facilities do look for reasons to not accept people in crisis, and self-medication is one. The other is to argue that the basis for the maladaptive symptoms is behavioral in nature, not mental. This ignores that the common symptoms of mental illness is the behavior itself. An added roadblock is it will rarely be a psychiatrist that will make that judgment to discharge, as few hospitals have one on staff in the emergency room.

     There were so many other opportunities that the professionals missed. While she was on this downward spiral from her illness, she lost the ability to excel in school and had to be home schooled. As a time Magazine article titled,   “Manic Depression; Young and Bipolar” pointed out; Bipolar’s find school difficult because of the background noise of the disorder …” Her inability to function should have been a deadly warning sign to the medical providers who did not heed the symptoms of impending problems.

     There is something that must be pointed out, and that is Jessica was not your typical teenager suffering in denial. She was a unique young woman, who broke many myths of mental illness.  She never denied that she was sick, and she fought this disease in a way few people would have the courage to battle. She had a job, she did modeling, and she loved animals and possessed a passion for life that was hindered by a disease.  

     Though she broke one myth by accepting her affliction, it was the effort to find a treatment that was the main source of her downfall. . Much has been made of some past drug use, and that is a common characteristic known as self-medication. Like many others that belong to the same fraternity of “bipolar’s”, I used an alternative remedy. My treatment consisted of sitting alone in a room, drink straight Gin and take numerous Benadryl tablets. It accomplished my goal to calm my rapid thoughts and numb the emotional pain. Jessica Fernandez, though she described herself as one, was no addict. She was just a teenager trying to find something to make herself feel normal. The public does not understand that self-medication is idiosyncratic of mental illness!

     Another myth that was dispelled is that mental illness is usually prevalent only in dysfunctional families. Jessica’s parents are two particularly good hardworking people, and it is so evident of how much they loved her. They stood beside her every step of her journey, and never once gave up on her. They arranged their work schedules to be with her in case she needed them. The two of them spent countless hours in hospitals, and doctor’s offices desperately trying to save her. They did not fail Jessica, but they did discover that all the unconditional love in the world does not cure a physical malady.

     Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, an award winning author, the head of psychiatry at John Hopkins hospital in Washington DC and a lifetime sufferer of bipolar disorder once said: People don’t realize how much suicidal people hurt, how long they hurt, and how hopelessly they hurt!”  Jessica was a girl in unbearable pain, and like countless others, found herself trapped in the confines of a deadly and misunderstood disease.

     Strangely, there were few conflicting indicators leading up to the fateful day. On the wall of her bedroom, she had a list of what she treasured most. It said; “Mom and Dad, Wisdom, Kyle, Honesty, Pets, Life, Dance and sobriety.” She also had several future dates marked on her calendar, such as her birthday and other future activates.  She did have future plans,  and she gave every indication that she was determined to get better.

     When her father was asked, what the most frustrating part of their seeking help was for Jessica, he did not hesitate “I could not get her the long term help she needed, which was at least a thirty day stay in a facility.” This is a common challenge for parents and loved ones. The facilities for long term care for Jessica are decidedly limited in number. There is little doubt that she did in fact need that long term care in a facility that would have monitored her medication closely, and allowed it the time needed to stabilize her. If that would have occurred, along with acceptance of her chronic illness, there was a strong likelihood of her recovery.

     There is one message that must be conveyed to the medical providers who insisted that Jessica’s issues were not mental, but drug related. In her autopsy report, there were no illicit drugs in her system. All that her toxicology report showed  was the medication that these professionals prescribed.  Yet, the medication that in the past, was never given a chance to work!

     If I were to write an epilogue to this story, two issues stand out. First, the intense and tireless desire of her parents who never gave up in their attempts to find the proper help for their daughter. They are two loving, and now grieving people who are now committed to helping others avoid a similar fate. They did everything humanely possible to help Jessica defeat this relentless disease.

     The second issue is to ask a simple question. When will the leaders of this State decide to finally make some positive enhancements to the mental health system? First, begin the process of making readily available treatment available to everyone. Next, it is time to MANDATE the treat them and street them mentality of the medical profession end immediately! If people think that this system is working, I know two people in Vermilion who bear witness to the pain that this barbaric system can create! Hopefully, someone in Columbus is listening!

Avon Lake, Suicide and Ignorance

    The headline in the paper spelled out this tragedy: “Avon Lake Girl’s Suicide prompts schools to offer counseling.”

     A 14 year old student at Avon Lake high school became a parent’s worst nightmare, as she ended her life by her own hands. Though little is known about this young lady, she joins an ever increasing number of students that end their life in such a drastic way. It is a death that is nearly always misunderstood, and almost exclusively linking to some form of depression. It is the third leading cause of death in high school students.

     The thoughts and prayers of everyone should be with the family, as they struggle to understand this death. Like many others, they will spend countless hours trying to make sense of this untimely death, and search for answers. Sadly, the answers to those questions may never be discovered. Many advocates, myself included, experience losses such as hers as if we were close friends, because we share a common bond. We all hope the family and friends find peace and a way to move on from this tragedy.

    All of this reminds me of the time several years ago, that I was trying to open some doors of awareness with the leaders of Avon Lake. After several conversations, I was left bewildered at such Neanderthal and outright prejudicial thinking that anyone in positions of power could ever possess.

     The first contact was with a high ranking school administrator. I approached him about doing a mental health and suicide awareness program. His response was a bit unsettling as he claimed “we have no need for those types of programs.” As I mentioned earlier, suicide is the third leading cause of death in people at the high school level, and he saw no need for more education and awareness? This leaves one to wonder why he felt that way.

     Next up was the mayor’s office, and it was here that I heard the most outrageous comment ever used to describe people afflicted with a disease. This former mayor was blunt in his assertion that he “did not want mentally ill people living in Avon Lake!”

     Avon Lake, a moderately affluent suburb with a population of over 22,000, would have over 3,500 people who suffer from a mental illness. So with that in mind, I asked this man if he planned on one day goose stepping all these people out of his community the way Hitler did back during the time of the Holocaust. With that question, this strange guy hung up the phone.

     Next on the list was some city council members, and they were just as ignorant.

     When I questioned the first one, and asked him about the mayors comments, he answered, “ I was a combat pilot so I know all about mental illness!” Now being a combat pilot is a commendable and impressive accomplishment, however, as I spoke with him, it was evident that he was just being arrogant and ignorant. He found nothing improper with comments from the mayor and, in fact, laughed about them. It makes one wonder if he flew some of his missions without oxygen at high altitude. If not, perhaps he is just an idiot!

     Next on my list was a councilman who is a local business man. He informed me that the mayor at times makes comments that are “out of character” for him. However, he refused to condemn the mayor judgments. Like the other one, he laughed and made a disparaging remark, and used the word “psychos” to describe people in crisis. It makes one wonder what other terms he uses to refer to people who are not part of his moral universe. As Martin Luther King Jr. once said,” Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity!”

     An effort to communicate with other members of this council proved fruitless. One man even said “I don’t care” and unceremoniously hung up on me. What is that old saying about cowards dying many deaths? Interestingly, several individuals who have been involved in the local chapter of the National Alliance of Mental Illness, NAMI, live in Avon Lake. Additionally, for many years support groups have been meeting in that city with the same people that this former mayor and city council members have stigmatized.

     In retrospect, it is easy to understand why I received responses from the leaders in this community. It is widely accepted that mental illness is a hugely nondiscriminatory disease. It will strike the wealthy and the destitute alike. The biggest difference is readily available treatment, and that is not always available to people in lower incomes. As their comments stand as testimony, this group is lead more with arrogance, and ignorance, rather than being exposed to enlightenment and awareness. The leaders cannot understand that mental illness is just as prevalent in their community, as it is in less affluent communities such as the city of Lorain.

     I did find a couple of bright spots and one was Judge Darrel Bilancini. He took the time to sit down with me one on one, and discuss the seriousness of this issue. He had in-depth knowledge of this concern, and was always mindful of the challenges that students do face.  I was more impressed that he was courteous and never thought mental illness is a laughing matter. A far cry from the stupidity exhibited from the city and school officials.

     I never met former mayor Karl (KC) Zuber, but I did speak on the phone with him. Like Judge Bilancini, he was respectful and intelligent. Interestingly, he was always willing to meet with me on these issues, and did show a sound understanding of this subject.

     If the community wishes to honor the life of this young lady in a positive a meaningful fashion, I have two pieces of advice.

     First, stand up to the ignorance that is displayed by the ones that mock and belittle the seriousness of mental illness. Demand awareness and understanding, which will remove the stigma and open the door for people to feel free to seek treatment. Learn to accept those afflicted with understanding, compassion, and empathy. Condemn the bigots that permeate the discriminatory practices that exist as a huge roadblock to recovery.

     Finally, take the advice of former NFL coach turned football analyst, Tony Dungy, whose son committed suicide back in 2006. He said “Parents, hug your kids each chance you get. Tell them you love them each chance you get. You don’t know when it’s going to be the last time.”